söndag 27 februari 2011

Detta skrev jag ca 1 månad efter min mammas död o jag inte hunnit sörja henne än!

Dear Mum....Mamma!

I can´t believe You are gone.

I miss you so much every day.

I still call You like before but it isn´t you that answer the phone anymore.

The phone is ringing until the end and then I remember that You aren´t with us anymore.

I need to cry but then I see my kids and remember how strong You were as a mother and a woman. I need to be the same.

But how did You do it mummy? It seems to be so wrong to laugh and it is so difficult to not cry.

Who can I talk to now? You aren´t there anymore with Your smart advice and my dad don´t have any time for giving advices or maybe he doesn´t even know the answers I am seeking for.

He is not the same anymore. He is sad all the time. He asked me to come on weekends down and keep him company like I did with You for last 4 years. I usually make food, dishes and clean and listen to him and hug him when he starts to cry.

Mamma I miss You so much and so do the rest of the family.

I am taking care of Your grave every weekend. I remember how much You took care of everyones graves all the time and how important it was for You.

I will not let go of the piece that You left in my heart when you passed. But that piece is so heavy to carry right now.

Maybe one day it will get easier when I have been crying but now it is so hard.

Until that day mamma....look down on us and take care of us. Just like You have always done before.

Love You now and forever.

Your daughter Hanna.

Jag skrev det på engelska i tidernas tider för att jag använder engelskan dagligen o det var enklare att få ut orden just då på engelska.

Det känns lite komiskt nu för min mamma kunde ingen engelska men det kändes skönare efter att ha fått skriva ett brev till henne just då.

Ni förstår säkert inte vad jag menar men det var en del av mitt sorgearbete just då.

2 kommentarer:

Mia sa...

Hanna, jag förstår bra att du skriver, det hjälper. Kramar av mej! Mia

Mia sa...

Hanna, här är en som förstår dej! Att skriva gör bra åt en själv! Kramar! Mia